Last night
we had a great discussion during our telephone support group with mom's of children with medically complex issues about Dealing with Discipline. Our discussion
centered on different definitions of the words parenting and discipline and how
they can be used in similar and different ways. We talked about how to provide
a balance between providing direction and structure and yet not wanting to be
too strict because of the potential for the child’s medical condition to
influence understanding and cause more problems.

Discussion
centered on the experiences of each mom relating to their child’s current
discipline needs.

We talked about despite the fact that each child’s medical
condition influences each area of development in different ways, the
progression of developmental steps remains the same for all children. It is
important to know where your child is currently functioning in all areas of
development but especially in the communication area. For example, if a baby is
16 months old but understands at a 12 month level, than the parent would
provide the discipline or expectations for behavior and development at a 12
month level.

It is also
important to determine what developmental task your child might be going trying
to accomplish. For example, if your baby is functioning at a 12 month level,
babies are typically beginning to learn that they are separate from their
mothers and may be beginning to experience stranger anxiety or cry when you leave
the room. Each child’s developmental concern influences the way in which your baby
responds to the task they are trying to master.

During the
meeting I referenced a couple websites and a book that folks asked for the
citation. The information is as follows:

Defining Your Childs
temperament

http://steinhardt.nyu.edu/insights/survey.html

http://steinhardt.nyu.edu/insights/

 The book mentioned was,
“Your Child’s Unique Temperament, Insights, and Strategies for Responsive Parenting”
by Sandee Graham McClowery. The idea here is that
by understanding your own and your child’s temperament, that each parent can
have insights as to how to each child reacts to different situations based on
his or her basic temperament.

 Our next two meetings
are scheduled for May 14 and 21 at 7:30-9:00 PM-since each meeting we have
talked for 90 minutes; we agreed to just claim the time.

 Our next topic will be
“Partnering with Health Care Professionals or What to do When They Don’t Take a
Parent Seriously.” I will talk with a nurse and developmental therapist and
invite her to join us to help with the discussion and share some tips. If she
is not available for the May 14^th meeting, I will see if May 21^st
is available for her to meet with us.

Until next Monday—have
a wonderful week and a fantastic Mothers Day!!

Cathy